THROUGH OUR EYES

"What defines us is how well we rise after falling."



Hey there, I'm here with a little doze of encouragement and energy booster for the day. Stay blessed.

I turned eighteen recently and although eighteen isn’t a really huge number, it is enough years to understand that there are two kinds of ‘advice givers’ in life (at least the kinds I’ve encountered.)

The first kind is the elders around us. The ‘I speak from experience’ group of people. They say experience is the best teacher and I have slowly discovered that, in truth, experience is the best teacher. Back to the elders… because they have lived many more years than I have, they have experienced a lot of the more current events in my life - whether it is the nerve wracking choice of what to study in the university for the next four years of my life or the new male friend that I’ve been spending a significant amount of time with or the long term health effects of my current eating habits – and can tell whether I’m doing what is right and worthwhile or a complete waste of my time and efforts. Most times, I find that I’d rather challenge their advice either because I believe I am less likely to make the mistakes they made (because I am ‘wiser’) or because I’d rather convince myself that because I live in a different era/generation, then the outcome must be different, and worse of all, I’d rather be able to experience whatever disappoint and grief or success for myself. Think about it. If no one is willing to gain these experiences for themselves, what are we going to tell our next generation when they look up to us for advice? Don’t be misguided! No reasonable adult will prevent you from doing anything that is beneficial for your life and, in the same vain, no reasonable adult will sit back and watch you do anything that is detrimental to your life. It is up to each and every person to decide what course of action they do end up taking.

The first kind of people are precious and we must cherish them. Now on to the next kind of people. These people are the type to give advice based on their fears and insecurities. In an attempt to feel better about themselves or mask their ‘shortcomings’, they hold others back with the type of advice they give – if you take that course, you will die because they are terrified by the thought of not performing as well as they are used to, how can you of all people think you can do that because they are unable to accept the truth, which is that their weaknesses aren’t other peoples weaknesses – so that they can feel less miserable about themselves.

Run from these people! They lack confidence in themselves and their abilities. In addition, they only dwell on the negatives of themselves and don’t acknowledge any of their strengths. In this life, I have learnt that it is no one’s job to make me feel good about myself. All anyone can do to help is point out those areas that I should be proud of especially when I feel it is ‘too small’ of ‘not that significant’, but it is only when I chose that I am more than enough that I will begin to move around with that air of confidence that can only come from within. There will always be room for improvement because you can always be better than who you currently are, but be proud of how far you you have come at every step of the journey and be deliberate about giving yourself ‘a pat on the back’ then take the next step.

So next time you're about to beat yourself up about something that didn't work out as you hoped for, stop for a quick reflection. Think about what went wrong and what you should have done better but think about what went well and be happy for those things. Learn to be disappointed by the outcome but not discouraged about life because there is so much to live for. Treat yourself to some dessert because you deserve to be treated nicely. Remember it's all about what you're projecting; the energy you give off is the energy you'll find that you attract. Just project the right energy

Till next time,
Ginika.

It's all about projecting the right energy



Hey there, I'm here with a little doze of encouragement and energy booster for the day. Stay blessed.

I turned eighteen recently and although eighteen isn’t a really huge number, it is enough years to understand that there are two kinds of ‘advice givers’ in life (at least the kinds I’ve encountered.)

The first kind is the elders around us. The ‘I speak from experience’ group of people. They say experience is the best teacher and I have slowly discovered that, in truth, experience is the best teacher. Back to the elders… because they have lived many more years than I have, they have experienced a lot of the more current events in my life - whether it is the nerve wracking choice of what to study in the university for the next four years of my life or the new male friend that I’ve been spending a significant amount of time with or the long term health effects of my current eating habits – and can tell whether I’m doing what is right and worthwhile or a complete waste of my time and efforts. Most times, I find that I’d rather challenge their advice either because I believe I am less likely to make the mistakes they made (because I am ‘wiser’) or because I’d rather convince myself that because I live in a different era/generation, then the outcome must be different, and worse of all, I’d rather be able to experience whatever disappoint and grief or success for myself. Think about it. If no one is willing to gain these experiences for themselves, what are we going to tell our next generation when they look up to us for advice? Don’t be misguided! No reasonable adult will prevent you from doing anything that is beneficial for your life and, in the same vain, no reasonable adult will sit back and watch you do anything that is detrimental to your life. It is up to each and every person to decide what course of action they do end up taking.

The first kind of people are precious and we must cherish them. Now on to the next kind of people. These people are the type to give advice based on their fears and insecurities. In an attempt to feel better about themselves or mask their ‘shortcomings’, they hold others back with the type of advice they give – if you take that course, you will die because they are terrified by the thought of not performing as well as they are used to, how can you of all people think you can do that because they are unable to accept the truth, which is that their weaknesses aren’t other peoples weaknesses – so that they can feel less miserable about themselves.

Run from these people! They lack confidence in themselves and their abilities. In addition, they only dwell on the negatives of themselves and don’t acknowledge any of their strengths. In this life, I have learnt that it is no one’s job to make me feel good about myself. All anyone can do to help is point out those areas that I should be proud of especially when I feel it is ‘too small’ of ‘not that significant’, but it is only when I chose that I am more than enough that I will begin to move around with that air of confidence that can only come from within. There will always be room for improvement because you can always be better than who you currently are, but be proud of how far you you have come at every step of the journey and be deliberate about giving yourself ‘a pat on the back’ then take the next step.

So next time you're about to beat yourself up about something that didn't work out as you hoped for, stop for a quick reflection. Think about what went wrong and what you should have done better but think about what went well and be happy for those things. Learn to be disappointed by the outcome but not discouraged about life because there is so much to live for. Treat yourself to some dessert because you deserve to be treated nicely. Remember it's all about what you're projecting; the energy you give off is the energy you'll find that you attract. Just project the right energy

Till next time,
Ginika.





This summer I did something cool and although it wasn't grandiose, it was definitely very impactful to the lives of those involved. I go to the African Leadership Academy (ALA) in Honeydew, Johannesburg, South Africa and as the name implies, leadership is a subject that is engraved into our curriculum and our daily lives at large. The month of June marked the end of my first year of the two year program at ALA and I felt it would be rather selfish of me to withhold all that I learned from my teachers and peers from the rest of my community in Lagos, Nigeria.

With that said, I organized a week long leadership program, which I titled ‘A Leader In Me’ for the preteens in my estate as they are the future of tomorrow. Nigerian leaders have failed on many accounts to show exemplary qualities for the younger generations to emulate and I vehemently believe that to correct and prevent the rise of another faulty generation, we must teach them how to be good and responsible leaders in the society – by teaching them and by putting these teachings to practice. I believe young people act on what they see and not what they are told or rather they are able to synchronize what they are told with what they see.

To deliver quality results in life, preparation is key. I knew I could not just show up on Monday and spew a mouthful of disjointed leadership talk so I made a careful curriculum that will keep the preteens well informed and well engaged for two hours throughout the week. The curriculum focused majorly on emphasizing the qualities of a good leader – qualities that we all possess but must harness them to bring them to fruition. These qualities included confidence, trustworthiness, service, communication, and finally exemplary leadership.

By the end of the training program, they understood what confident leadership is and how to embody the position of a confident leader without coming off as prideful. We emphasized that a truly confident person does not put others down to boost their confidence but rather they help others gain the confidence they need to excel. Also, leadership thrives where there is trust between the leader(s) and those that fall under the responsibility of the leader. They understood that trust works both ways in the sphere of leadership for a successful end goal. Servant leadership was the topic I had to be most patient with. The concept of leading through service to others without expectations in return took a while to grasp. In groups, they came up with projects that will serve the estate at large and their execution was highly commendable. In addition, the concept of communication was thoroughly discussed and left them with an understanding that communication is not complete until the receiving end has understood the original message and can act upon their understanding. Lastly, they understood that all the aforementioned qualities must be embodied to live an exemplary life as a leader – a life that others around will want to emulate and will, most importantly, bring about positive change in the society.

As fulfilling as it was to impact their lives, it was certainly a learning experience for me. I learnt that there is no initiative that is too small as long as it is beneficial to the public. This program helped me to move my thoughts from waiting for a grand platform to reach out to thousands of people. Truth be told, to conquer the big things, you must start from the smaller things. I understood that the planning phase is only the beginning and finishing/seeing things through to the very end is where the reward lies. It was a rich and impactful week and I am humbled by the experience. Till next time, I hope this bold initiative inspires you in some way to do something great.

My DSC





This summer I did something cool and although it wasn't grandiose, it was definitely very impactful to the lives of those involved. I go to the African Leadership Academy (ALA) in Honeydew, Johannesburg, South Africa and as the name implies, leadership is a subject that is engraved into our curriculum and our daily lives at large. The month of June marked the end of my first year of the two year program at ALA and I felt it would be rather selfish of me to withhold all that I learned from my teachers and peers from the rest of my community in Lagos, Nigeria.

With that said, I organized a week long leadership program, which I titled ‘A Leader In Me’ for the preteens in my estate as they are the future of tomorrow. Nigerian leaders have failed on many accounts to show exemplary qualities for the younger generations to emulate and I vehemently believe that to correct and prevent the rise of another faulty generation, we must teach them how to be good and responsible leaders in the society – by teaching them and by putting these teachings to practice. I believe young people act on what they see and not what they are told or rather they are able to synchronize what they are told with what they see.

To deliver quality results in life, preparation is key. I knew I could not just show up on Monday and spew a mouthful of disjointed leadership talk so I made a careful curriculum that will keep the preteens well informed and well engaged for two hours throughout the week. The curriculum focused majorly on emphasizing the qualities of a good leader – qualities that we all possess but must harness them to bring them to fruition. These qualities included confidence, trustworthiness, service, communication, and finally exemplary leadership.

By the end of the training program, they understood what confident leadership is and how to embody the position of a confident leader without coming off as prideful. We emphasized that a truly confident person does not put others down to boost their confidence but rather they help others gain the confidence they need to excel. Also, leadership thrives where there is trust between the leader(s) and those that fall under the responsibility of the leader. They understood that trust works both ways in the sphere of leadership for a successful end goal. Servant leadership was the topic I had to be most patient with. The concept of leading through service to others without expectations in return took a while to grasp. In groups, they came up with projects that will serve the estate at large and their execution was highly commendable. In addition, the concept of communication was thoroughly discussed and left them with an understanding that communication is not complete until the receiving end has understood the original message and can act upon their understanding. Lastly, they understood that all the aforementioned qualities must be embodied to live an exemplary life as a leader – a life that others around will want to emulate and will, most importantly, bring about positive change in the society.

As fulfilling as it was to impact their lives, it was certainly a learning experience for me. I learnt that there is no initiative that is too small as long as it is beneficial to the public. This program helped me to move my thoughts from waiting for a grand platform to reach out to thousands of people. Truth be told, to conquer the big things, you must start from the smaller things. I understood that the planning phase is only the beginning and finishing/seeing things through to the very end is where the reward lies. It was a rich and impactful week and I am humbled by the experience. Till next time, I hope this bold initiative inspires you in some way to do something great.


Hello there, it's your girl Ginika... haha that sounds nothing like me. How are y'all doing? I hope the summer is everything you hoped for? To all the bookworms out there, my loving sister wrote the most magnificent short story. Here is a short beginning of it. Click Here to read the full story.
The Last I Cry
Knock, knock.
I frown in irritation. Who is there?
I glance at the grandfather clock in the corner. It chimes midnight. I sigh and set my glasses on the table, a yawn escapes me and I stretch. Its been a long day.
- Maruche Kalu

short story to bless your day


Hello there, it's your girl Ginika... haha that sounds nothing like me. How are y'all doing? I hope the summer is everything you hoped for? To all the bookworms out there, my loving sister wrote the most magnificent short story. Here is a short beginning of it. Click Here to read the full story.
The Last I Cry
Knock, knock.
I frown in irritation. Who is there?
I glance at the grandfather clock in the corner. It chimes midnight. I sigh and set my glasses on the table, a yawn escapes me and I stretch. Its been a long day.
- Maruche Kalu


Hi booboos!
It's been such a long time and I have truly missed writing for you guys. I feel like I started this blog as my digital diary, which wouldn't be smart considering it's posted right on my Instagram page, but wharefer!
I hope you're all doing well! I really have missed you, let me say that again. Uhmm so what shall I say today?
In that one second space, I have decided I shall talk about 'Seasons' today. Has anyone listened to that song 'Seasons' by Hillsong? Well it's great whether you're Christian or not, you can appreciate the truth in the song and the pure, unadulterated talent that band has to offer.
So seasons basically refer to the change in weather conditions, if we were to look at it geographically. In Nigeria, it's rainy and dry( Harmattan) and we know winter, autumn, summer, etc for people who don't live on the African continent. These 'seasons' are characterized by certain conditions that make them distinct. In Nigeria, very evidently, during the rainy season, rain is frequent, and during Harmattan, it isn't.
Now I'm talking about seasons because between last year and so far this year, I've travelled through many. There have been really difficult times that have challenged those ideals I thought would always stick regardless. I used to think I didn't have it in me to 'give up'. I was strong and confident and I worked hard and nothing would stop me. What happens though when these things that have always worked don't seem to be working? Stop a moment and ask yourself. As humans, we typically rely on a certain way of doing things. We get comfortable in them, develop ideals or guiding principles but what happens if these aren't enough though?
You get tougher sweetcheeks.
I was very much tempted to just end on that note #midcrop, but uhmm I don't want to leave like that. So I'll say, don't just go with the flow, sometimes the current is too strong. Instead, push yourself and surround yourself with people who push 'and' encourage. You don't want one without the other.
I have been pushed emotionally, physically and mentally in the past year. I remember myself at this time last year. I was preparing for graduation, separating from some of my best friends for the past six years and it was tough. In the midst of that, I was getting results, dealing with boys, girls (being a teen is not easy :)) In short, it was pretty hectic, but that was in no way to even be compared to my experience starting at my new school. You know that saying 'from the frying pan into the fire'. It was crazy! I can speak fondly of it now, but then, bruhhhhhh, it was rough! However, I've become so self-aware, much tougher and resilient as a result. I would not take the experience back for a second because I appreciate the beauty in the journey to where I am now.
In essence, whatever season you're in, whether it's the very sweet smelling one, or the icy, stormy ones. I'd like to implore you to enjoy it while it lasts, learn from the experience and build on the amazing person you are with this new experience. No matter how not amazing you feel, we all start from somewhere. Rome and not even Jesus, became a man in one day. We all learn.
My journey's definitely not quite finished, but I just wanted to share that because I really do love you guys. I appreciate the dm's, text messages and the comments from people trying to reach out. I know it can get really rough sometimes, but you've got this sweethearts. Speak, believe and then experience. Motto I live by.



Love you,
Bolaji.

Heyyyy Again



Hi booboos!
It's been such a long time and I have truly missed writing for you guys. I feel like I started this blog as my digital diary, which wouldn't be smart considering it's posted right on my Instagram page, but wharefer!
I hope you're all doing well! I really have missed you, let me say that again. Uhmm so what shall I say today?
In that one second space, I have decided I shall talk about 'Seasons' today. Has anyone listened to that song 'Seasons' by Hillsong? Well it's great whether you're Christian or not, you can appreciate the truth in the song and the pure, unadulterated talent that band has to offer.
So seasons basically refer to the change in weather conditions, if we were to look at it geographically. In Nigeria, it's rainy and dry( Harmattan) and we know winter, autumn, summer, etc for people who don't live on the African continent. These 'seasons' are characterized by certain conditions that make them distinct. In Nigeria, very evidently, during the rainy season, rain is frequent, and during Harmattan, it isn't.
Now I'm talking about seasons because between last year and so far this year, I've travelled through many. There have been really difficult times that have challenged those ideals I thought would always stick regardless. I used to think I didn't have it in me to 'give up'. I was strong and confident and I worked hard and nothing would stop me. What happens though when these things that have always worked don't seem to be working? Stop a moment and ask yourself. As humans, we typically rely on a certain way of doing things. We get comfortable in them, develop ideals or guiding principles but what happens if these aren't enough though?
You get tougher sweetcheeks.
I was very much tempted to just end on that note #midcrop, but uhmm I don't want to leave like that. So I'll say, don't just go with the flow, sometimes the current is too strong. Instead, push yourself and surround yourself with people who push 'and' encourage. You don't want one without the other.
I have been pushed emotionally, physically and mentally in the past year. I remember myself at this time last year. I was preparing for graduation, separating from some of my best friends for the past six years and it was tough. In the midst of that, I was getting results, dealing with boys, girls (being a teen is not easy :)) In short, it was pretty hectic, but that was in no way to even be compared to my experience starting at my new school. You know that saying 'from the frying pan into the fire'. It was crazy! I can speak fondly of it now, but then, bruhhhhhh, it was rough! However, I've become so self-aware, much tougher and resilient as a result. I would not take the experience back for a second because I appreciate the beauty in the journey to where I am now.
In essence, whatever season you're in, whether it's the very sweet smelling one, or the icy, stormy ones. I'd like to implore you to enjoy it while it lasts, learn from the experience and build on the amazing person you are with this new experience. No matter how not amazing you feel, we all start from somewhere. Rome and not even Jesus, became a man in one day. We all learn.
My journey's definitely not quite finished, but I just wanted to share that because I really do love you guys. I appreciate the dm's, text messages and the comments from people trying to reach out. I know it can get really rough sometimes, but you've got this sweethearts. Speak, believe and then experience. Motto I live by.



Love you,
Bolaji.



Good morning ladies and gents. How are y’all doing? I’m really excited today for reasons I actually don’t understand. And because of this amazing mood, I’ve decided to talk about something we all kinda struggle with when we hit adolescent years. I’m not sure anyone else calls it this other than my mama๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚, but it kinda hits the nail on the head. Now when you type melancholy on a google search, the first definition you get is ‘a feeling of pensive sadness typically with no obvious reason’ and I again think, that it really just hits the nail on the head.  For one thing, melancholiness in itself is actually a temperament. Like there are people who simply think on the more serious side of life( I’m one of them๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜) and there’s the general increase in mood swings you get or may get as you enter your teenage years. Professionals would say that it’s due to all these hormonal changes and blah blah blah but if you think like me you’re probably more inclined to believe that as we grow up stuff become harder and whatnot. And it can be really difficult to deal with. Granted, there are a couple of things that only become struggles as we enter those adolescent years but can we really put that down to hormones? Anyway, first let’s talk about some of these struggles shall we? We have low self esteem, bad body image, relationship issues especially with the opposite sex and then to bring it to a head we have changes in our bodies. 

Now to be honest with you, I can probably remember a time I had issue with every single thing I’ve listed there. ๐Ÿค” Probably. As always, the key is to have an amazing support system and I think I say this kinda often, but I don’t know whether you guys take it seriously. My support system ranges from my relationship with God to my family and friends. What’s your support system? Please let me know if you’d like to share in the comments below. These systems are important because they help you reaffirm things about yourself that some of us really need to hear. There’s so much going on in the world especially in terms of abuse whether emotional, sexual, physical and so on and to be frank with you, I mean I’m no expert, but I feel that it has a lot to do with a really poor self esteem on the part of the abusers. They need love and attention and they choose to get it forcefully from people they can intimidate. Again I’m no expert ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฟ‍♀️ but it’s definitely worth thinking about. 
Second, try to figure out what your triggers are. By triggers I mean those things that set you off or just get you in a bad mood. Could be books, magazines, shows,conversations with certain people. Identify them and avoid them and if you can’t avoid them either pray about it or get yourself in a place( an emotional place๐Ÿ˜) where these comments simply don’t bother you anymore.
So note for today guys, take a moment today or tomorrow or right now as you read this to tell your sister or your brother on an off day or a good day that they’re really beautiful or really handsome or really kind because it’s these little things that bring us out of our darkest moments. 
I could tell you all a bunch of stories about my teenage struggles man๐Ÿ˜‰ but that shall be for another day.๐Ÿค—❤️
Till next time my darlings,
Your dearest,
Beejay๐Ÿ˜Š๐ŸŒธ

Teenage Melancholiness




Good morning ladies and gents. How are y’all doing? I’m really excited today for reasons I actually don’t understand. And because of this amazing mood, I’ve decided to talk about something we all kinda struggle with when we hit adolescent years. I’m not sure anyone else calls it this other than my mama๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚, but it kinda hits the nail on the head. Now when you type melancholy on a google search, the first definition you get is ‘a feeling of pensive sadness typically with no obvious reason’ and I again think, that it really just hits the nail on the head.  For one thing, melancholiness in itself is actually a temperament. Like there are people who simply think on the more serious side of life( I’m one of them๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜) and there’s the general increase in mood swings you get or may get as you enter your teenage years. Professionals would say that it’s due to all these hormonal changes and blah blah blah but if you think like me you’re probably more inclined to believe that as we grow up stuff become harder and whatnot. And it can be really difficult to deal with. Granted, there are a couple of things that only become struggles as we enter those adolescent years but can we really put that down to hormones? Anyway, first let’s talk about some of these struggles shall we? We have low self esteem, bad body image, relationship issues especially with the opposite sex and then to bring it to a head we have changes in our bodies. 

Now to be honest with you, I can probably remember a time I had issue with every single thing I’ve listed there. ๐Ÿค” Probably. As always, the key is to have an amazing support system and I think I say this kinda often, but I don’t know whether you guys take it seriously. My support system ranges from my relationship with God to my family and friends. What’s your support system? Please let me know if you’d like to share in the comments below. These systems are important because they help you reaffirm things about yourself that some of us really need to hear. There’s so much going on in the world especially in terms of abuse whether emotional, sexual, physical and so on and to be frank with you, I mean I’m no expert, but I feel that it has a lot to do with a really poor self esteem on the part of the abusers. They need love and attention and they choose to get it forcefully from people they can intimidate. Again I’m no expert ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฟ‍♀️ but it’s definitely worth thinking about. 
Second, try to figure out what your triggers are. By triggers I mean those things that set you off or just get you in a bad mood. Could be books, magazines, shows,conversations with certain people. Identify them and avoid them and if you can’t avoid them either pray about it or get yourself in a place( an emotional place๐Ÿ˜) where these comments simply don’t bother you anymore.
So note for today guys, take a moment today or tomorrow or right now as you read this to tell your sister or your brother on an off day or a good day that they’re really beautiful or really handsome or really kind because it’s these little things that bring us out of our darkest moments. 
I could tell you all a bunch of stories about my teenage struggles man๐Ÿ˜‰ but that shall be for another day.๐Ÿค—❤️
Till next time my darlings,
Your dearest,
Beejay๐Ÿ˜Š๐ŸŒธ

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